kids Archives - The Coleture

December 1, 2020December 18, 2020

The Christmas Chronicles of 2020

An artistic photograph of the children by water, chronicling Christmas 2020.

Preparing for the holidays this year… Seems weird. Simply put, it doesn’t seem like the holidays right now because it doesn’t feel like the holidays. But it’s December already! It’s as if time stood still, but at the same time, sped along quicker than usual. Or maybe it’s just me. So much has happened, but it still feels like the beginning of the year. I’m in such a conflicted mental space. Oh, the Christmas Chronicles of 2020.

Chronicles:
the name of two books of the Bible, recording the history of Israel and Judah until the return from Exile
a factual written account of important or historical events in the order of their occurrence.
a work of fiction or nonfiction that describes a particular series of events
Oxford Dictionaries

Children walking along a path near water in Fall, just before Christmas.

I, like so many others, was so optimistic about this year. I had so many plans–big plans– that I couldn’t wait for things to come to fruition. For the first time ever, I created my Vision Blist! In case you’re wondering, a Vision Blist is a Vision Board in list form. Yes. I made that up. Don’t judge me. I made the most of my time. Plus, I printed it in color and it’s posted in my room… so it worked for me. *insert eyeroll directed towards anyone laughing at me*

Enters Shock and Denial

And then the Coronavirus hit, leaving life as we know it forever-altered. How in 2020 does something like this happen– and on such a monstrous scale, no less– without anyone in leadership having any idea what to do and how we got to this place? It was as if March was the beginning of the end. Many have lost their lives and/or their livelihoods. And that hurts.

Personally, work dried up almost instantaneously. Who could have fathomed what was to come? My mom’s Godmother contracted the virus from a caretaker at her living facility. She passed away. Two of my mom’s cousins contracted COVID-19, and they, too, passed away. I went months without seeing my parents and grandmother. Never in my life, have I ever been away from them for that long, considering they are living. Still, life was happening. Overwhelming amounts of stress and sadness were amassing in the interim, and I know that I was not alone in those feelings.

Christmas Chronicle #1: The show must go on!

We were blessed that my husband never had to stop working, but the pressure on me felt insurmountable! I had my children all day with no breaks. In the beginning, I wasn’t even taking my children to the grocery store. I made them masks, but still, I was too afraid of them getting sick. I was virtually schooling my daughter, who was displaying the affects of pandemic life in other ways. She was having trouble sleeping nights, so she’s still up at 4am, frequently waking me for some reason or another. My son, on the other hand, is an early bird and is up for 6am daily, like clockwork. Once work started to pick back up, there was no downtime, no time for self-care, barely enough time to think…

At some point, I had to demand a minute–even if that meant some things were being left behind. It was the acceptance of where we were (are). It finally hit me that this was our new normal. Now, the task was figuring out how to make this new lifestyle manageable–even enjoyable?

Christmas Chronicle #2: Be grateful for everything!

Take it all in stride and look for the positive in things. That’s the message I began to convey to myself. Even in spite of the Coronavirus, the holidays can be a tough season for a lot of people. In fact, I lost a first cousin just days ago. And though the celebrations are meant to be well-intentioned, when families gather around and rejoice in love and memories of days of old, that’s also the time when you realize that those who used to be here are no longer present with us. The holidays can inadvertently serve as a painful reminder of those losses. It really is a time that we have to choose to be grateful and hold each other’s hand just a little longer.

A big sister holding her little brother's hand.

Christmas Chronicle #3: Be kind to yourself.

Sometimes, we don’t have anyone else to depend on to lift us up when we feel we need it most. We have to pick ourselves up by the bootstraps, but be kind to yourself during this process. In those low moments, I try to channel that energy into something more positive. Whether that means dragging myself outside to play with the children, or taking the time to read a new book. It is my responsibility to make it happen.

If this year hasn’t taught me anything, it has taught me to pursue all of my passions with more fervor. I am demanding peace and happiness in my life. I am demanding all the things that my heart desires. And in so doing, I am demanding more intentional effort of myself.

Who’s going to tell me that I can’t have everything I want when I’m working hard to get it?

It is something that sounds so simple. The concept is simple. It’s the doing part that makes all the difference. And if that is an idea that I want my children to implement in their lives, then I must lead by example.

Christmas Chronicle #4: Be intentional.

Now, here it is December, and I’m scrabbling to make sure “Christmas” happens. I didn’t buy a single item for Black Friday. I don’t even know what the hottest toys on the list are. Actually, I saw a million social media posts in uproar about the PS5, and I was at a total loss. I didn’t even know they made another Play Station.lol That’s just how out of the loop I have been.

Shopping with my children in tow… stopping by the cookie company for my favorite overpriced M&M cookies, picking out decorations for the inside and outside of our home… those are things that we are missing. For my family, it’s not about the gifts– never really has been. It’s about the time spent together “searching” for presents. I do miss those things. Now it’s about baking those cookies at home, and being a little more creative and thoughtful with the gift giving. More importantly, the true “reason for the season” is still in tact, but maybe the capacity in which it resonates is just a little deeper.

The Christmas Chronicle of 2020: Create your own holiday spirit

What is “holiday spirit” anyway? I tend to think of cold weather (or the appearance of it, since we live in New Orleans). The smell of cinnamon and hot chocolate. The beauty of fall leaves preparing to change into winter sticks. Presents? Sure. But it’s more about the intention– the effort put forth for someone you love, simply to put a smile on their face. And then the coup de grace? Actually being present with them. Eating too much, laughing too much, catching up with some family you don’t get to see as often. Or traveling with your loved ones for a destination Christmas.

As with anything in life, things change. Adulthood requires figuring out a way to navigate these changes as gracefully as we can.

We upgraded the TV and surround system in our living room. We have the big box of popcorn from Costco and the hot chocolate is always on deck! Now, our movie nights are even better! And if you know us, you know we love to watch movies in our household.

In addition to our homebound fun, we are taking the extra time for introspection and really working to better ourselves. As a result, we are healing ourselves, while making it a point to really be present for others who deserve our time and attention. There is a message in all of this.

This year has been… a process for me. Granted, we can acknowledge the pandemic played a major role, but the Coronavirus merely exacerbated some of the challenges I was already facing. Above all, I can honestly say that this year hasn’t been all bad. I’m choosing to be grateful for it all! Grateful to have had some people in my life who are no longer here and to those who are here, loving and supporting me. I am thankful for all the experiences and lessons learned. Lastly, I am thankful for each and every one of you.

Y’all, we are surviving this pandemic!

Now, I have to put on my creativity hat and coordinate with Santa about these Christmas gifts.

What are some of the things you and your loved ones are doing to get “in the spirit” this holiday season? Are there any lessons learned in 2020 that you are taking with you into 2021? What are some of the things you’re leaving behind?

From my family to yours, we wish you a very Merry Christmas and an abundance of blessings and prosperity in the New Year!

Photoseries captured and styled by The Coleture Visual Art Studio in New Orleans, LA.

Don’t be afraid to reach out to someone if you’re in need of a little extra support. And remember, be kind to yourself. Be encouraged.

National Suicide Prevention Hotline-1-800-273-8255

Crisis Text Line-Text HOME to 741-741

New Orleans-504-777-3273

Atlanta-1-800-715-4225

April 25, 2020May 6, 2021

Timothy II: The Potty User Refuser

How do you encourage your toddler to use the potty?

Toddler boy dressed up in a suit, standing in a bathroom. — This photo was taken in a bathroom…where he did not use the potty. *insert eyeroll here*

Potty-training is not for the faint of heart, at least in my household. I can tell you now, I was not built for this. My son is the cutest little boy in the world. I find myself frequently looking over his baby pictures. It’s hard to believe three years have passed, since he completed our family. Now that he is 3, his personality is blooming. He is smart, and he is just soooo sweet! But how is it possible to be so sweet and so stubborn at the same time? Like, who raised you? (Don’t answer that). Introducing, Timothy II-the Potty User Refuser.

First, let me give you a little background on my son. He loves vehicles! Timmy talks a lot, but is quite bashful around others. He doesn’t like to take naps, but turn on a Marvel movie, and he will sit quietly to watch it, until he falls asleep. A honey bun AND a cup of milk is his “morning coffee,” and he refuses to begin his day without them.

Tall for his age, most people thought he was 4 when he was 2. He knows lots of words, shapes, and colors. He shows an interest in numbers and can actually count a little. Flashes of stubbornness present themselves when you ask him to answer questions about any of those things. Ask him to show you a letter, and this guy has an eyeroll only God can teach, IF he chooses to acknowledge you were speaking to him in the first place.

Back to potty-training.

So, we really tried to get ahead of this. Like other proactive parents, we tried getting him acclimated to sitting on the potty early on. And the few times that he used it unknowingly, we celebrated him. We were so proud of ourselves. Really thought we were just on top of things. If only you could’ve witnessed our excitement! Oh, but little did we know what was in store for us.

Baby being held up on potty. — Just made a year and he’s on the potty.

Soon, he understood that it was “pee pee” or “poo poo” in the potty because we would show it to him. We continued to cheer him on when he used it. Like all little people who receive praise, he ate it up! We just knew these were signs that he would be using the potty on his own in the near future. Can you hear the sound of us tooting our own horns? We also read books and watch (present tense) the potty-training episodes of some of his favorite shows and characters. Guess who could care less?

Smiling toddler. — On his Third Birthday, still not potty-trained, and living his best life.

Suddenly, every time we put him on the potty, he fought to get off– screaming and crying, arms flailing all over the place. As Timmy got a little older, we bought him underwear. Oh, and not just any old underwear, either. He has boxer briefs! He has vehicle underwear, Dinosaur underwear, he even has Spiderman underwear! I mean, no holds barred on choosing the most fashionable of boxers. None of it matters. Eventually, we stopped [attempting to] put him on the “big potty,” and started using his little potty. We tried making it as comfortable as possible.

The potty is in the living room, for goodness sake!

Next, came the bribes. You get your “bunny” (as he affectionately refers to honey buns), when you sit on the potty. Guys, he is steadfast in his lack of desire to use the potty. Timmy will sit on the potty, not use it, eat his “bunny,” and get up. Then, it could take an hour, but he will gladly pee and/or poo in his underwear. So long as he does not have to sit on the potty, he can take it. It’s downright astonishing (and disgusting)!

The other day, I put underwear on him. I asked him a million times if he needed to pee pee. He said no, each and every time. By the time I made him go sit on the potty, which wasn’t long after me asking, he had peed on one of my pillows in my bed. Whhhhyyyy? After throwing my pillow out, I began to “potty shame” him. I said that everyone in the house uses the potty, except him. And I started singing about him needing to use the potty. See below for results.

Crying toddler. — Can you hear the meltdown through these pictures?

Can you hear the meltdown through these pictures?

People often say that “boys are the hardest to potty-train,” but I wouldn’t know by comparing to my daughter… because she was no walk in the park. She was the type of kid who would have you sitting with her in the bathroom for an hour and a half, only to use it on the floor as soon as you take her off of it. This behavior was frequent, so we knew it was intentional. Timmy, on the other hand, doesn’t even try. He will wait as long as he can, until you give up on having him sit there and/or questioning him about it.

He will potty on the floor, on the stairs, on my favorite rug, in his bed—anywhere but the potty.

Though, he’s very aware of when he needs to use the potty, he will only use it when forced to sit on it. And he may tinkle a little and STILL pee on something else five minutes later. The crazy part is, he has the nerve to be embarrassed and sad after you ask him if he used it on himself. BUT. YOU. KNOW. EXACTLY. WHAT. YOU. ARE. DOING. Someone please make it make sense!

Toddler near the potty, but refusing to use it. — Look how close the potty is. Ask me where he peed.

Am I alone in this fight? Are there any other parents that have children like this?!

Since Timmy is mostly with me, I have been running lead on potty-training, and I am at my wit’s end! I asked family and friends for help and tips. My parents even stepped in to help when the kids stayed with them during the last few school breaks (prior to the Rona). There was no change.

In the meantime, I began searching online for potty-training solutions for stubborn kids, but didn’t find much we hadn’t tried. I did come across this hilarious article called, “My 3-Year-Old is Potty-Training. He Almost Ended Me.” It was eerily familiar, except his kid may be a bit more of a prankster than mine. At any rate, I could totally relate to the author’s experience.

You will never guess what happened next!

Finally, a miracle happened! I don’t know if my son knew I was writing this article about him or not, but what I can tell you is this: On the afternoon of Monday, April 20, 2020, Timothy II, the Potty User Refuser actually USED THE POTTY! He still won’t go in and use it without me, and he will only “pee” in the potty, but he has used it every day since then. Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a new potty user in our home. I’d like to now introudce you to Timothy II, Potty User.

Toddler boy looking up at the camera. — He kept unbuttoning his shirt one day in the French Quarter. So this is him while we shopped.lol #feelinghimself

Strolling down memory lane. #stillfeelinghimself

Any interesting potty-training moments or stories with the toddler in your life? Comment down below or shoot us a message about it.

We have not been compensated for any products mentioned in this article. If you are interested in Timothy II representing your product, brand, or work, please contact us here or email Jolandra@TheColeture.com.

February 27, 2020May 8, 2020

Just Jillian.

For quite some time, my daughter has expressed an interest in entertainment. I would say it probably started around age 4 when she asked for a YouTube Channel. I mean, she’s always had a large personality, but her dad and I were like: No! Fast forward four years later, and we learn that some kid has made $26 million via his YouTube Channel last year alone. So now, we are trying to figure out what to name hers. The Jillian Show? Just Jillian?

Since the moment she entered this world, my struggle to Quit Mommying Around became apparent. (Pun intended). I photographed Jillian so much, she was my first real work of art. I love FASHION, so it was my pleasure to dress my Mini-Me accordingly. She didn’t have a lot of hair, so big bows and hats were my go-to, but honey, she was (and still is) fabulous! It was then that I noticed how capable she was in front of the camera.

She was a natural!

What it looks like when your mother loves you, pink, bows, and leopard print.

But I have to be honest. I think most parents believe their children are beautiful and that they are super smart and talented. Although I always saw potential for her entering the modeling industry, I never once actively pursued it. I can’t tell you why, really. I spent years in the fashion industry, and I was never able to break through in the way I truly wish I could’ve. Perhaps, I was subconsciously projecting my “failures” onto her. I’m not wholly sure, but I do love to take her picture, and I do believe everyone should bask in the joy and personality that is Jillian.

Anyway, a couple of months ago, while on a business trip, her dad called to inform us of an audition he found out about locally. I looked into it and decided to give it a shot. I reached out to the company putting on the audition, and they responded with interest. They sent some lines for her to learn and gave us an audition date/time. I delivered this information to Jillian almost immediately.

After giving Jillian the lines, she learned them in about 15 minutes.

I must admit, I was a bit shocked that she learned her lines so fast. Not that I didn’t think she was clever enough, but as intelligent as Jillian is, she has a tendency to procrastinate. She can also be very lazy. It’s like she’s a teenager at 8! Once I saw she had the propensity to learn lines quickly and accurately, I knew that she was truly interested in acting. And by the way she embodied the words, it was also clear that she has real talent.

From that moment forward, I made a commitment to sincerely help her achieve this goal. I think she may be built for entertainment. We forged ahead to that audition. And guess what guys: She nailed it!

On the set of her first paid acting job. As always, styled by Mommy.

We were all so proud of her and so excited at the possibilities! But those possibilities quickly turned into disappointment when we learned that the “audition holders” actually wanted us to pay thousands of dollars that day to further her career. (Please insert eye roll here). In other words, that was a hard “no.” And although she was a little down about it, I explained to Jillian that a “no” means a lot of things, but it definitely does not mean that you failed or that you have to give up on your dreams.

I want her to know rejection early, so she is able to successfully cope and navigate “no’s” in the future.

But we had now born witness to the star that she truly is. We recognized that she should really keep moving forward in pursuit of acting. So I begin to reach out to a few people, including a colleague who had recently done some work in a Ben Affleck movie being shot in New Orleans. He gave me some information to look into, and the next thing you know, she and I both became background actors.

Let the resume building begin!

Hanging out on the set of Claws while Jillian was filming.

I thought it was a great opportunity! She got the chance to see and experience firsthand how NOT glamorous the filmmaking process can be. The long hours, the repeating of scenes over and over again… I welcomed that because I wanted to know if her interest would fade or if she was still excited to participate. Let me just tell you now, she was the total opposite of discouraged.

With such an outgoing personality and wit, I have no doubt that Jillian will succeed at whatever she puts her mind to. Jillian is also very ambitious. We have been discussing some other business ideas, with at least one we hope to release some time next year. She also does a yearly lemonade stand, called “Jillian’s E-Z P-Z Lemon Squee-Z.” If you’re ever in New Orleans the first weekend of May, look for her somewhere on Carrollton near Oak St. She creates her own sales pitches and enjoys selling and talking to people. There’s so much more you can expect to see from this young lady. Stay tuned. The best is yet to come!

Do you have a young child interested in or involved in entertainment? If so, what has been your overall experience? Please share your thoughts and opinions in the comments.

If you have any interest in working with Jillian in film, print, or other forms of media, please message me here or email JolandraCole@gmail.com and title the email, “booking.”

Please Subscribe, Like, and Share Jillian’s new YouTube Channel, called “Love, Jillian.”

July 4, 2019May 8, 2020

Quit Mommying Around

Timmy’s 2nd Birthday: Wynwood Walls, Miami, FL

Before we head out of the door for any occasion, I have to make sure my children look neat, nothing on their clothes, and most importantly, that I snap a gazillion pictures. Sometimes, my picture-taking can cause us to run behind, but it’s like a Jedi mind trick or something. I honestly cannot help myself. I always want to capture these moments—these forever memories—that one day, will seem so distant.

Timmy’s first time at one of Jillian’s favorite places to hang out.

I know I’m not the only Mommy-razzi around here, so no judging.

I learned early on that if you don’t get a good picture as soon as you’re leaving the house, you probably won’t ever get one. If you, indeed, do get a good picture later on, the child(ren)’s clothes have at least one stain. It’s inevitable! I just like to see my hard work come to fruition. Let me have my pictures!lol So here’s to introducing two of the world’s most beautiful, lovable little humans, Jillian and Timothy II.

June 24, 2019May 8, 2020

The Etiquette No One Taught You

An old photo of me, showing you what etiquette looks like from the back. Photo credit: Debut Photography

Three things your mother should have told you about.

Sometimes, tough love is exactly what you need. Sometimes, it takes a friend (or a stranger) to tell you what your parents should have taught you. Sometimes, someone just has to say the thing you’re not supposed to say. Well, today is your lucky day! I’m the friend that’s going to tell you what your mother (and/or father) didn’t. Yes. I do have time today. The Etiquette No One Taught You:

Kids Birthday Parties

If a parent is throwing a birthday party for their kid at any facility not their home, they are probably paying a per capita fee. That means, unless you have specifically cleared it with the birthday kid’s parents, do not bring extra people. Please read this next line carefully.

Multiple children from the same household still means multiple gifts for the birthday kid.

The birthday kid may be friends with one of your children. That does not give you the right to bring all of your kids to the party. Why should the birthday parents have to foot the bill for all of your children at their child’s celebration?

In the event that you do bring all of your children, then all of your kids should have separate gifts to give. Or, your gift should be a nicer, more expensive gift.

And I don’t want to hear that the birthday parents say that it is okay to bring your other children. From experience, you know it costs money to feed and gift each and every child. It is still very impolite for you to take advantage of their kindness by showing up with all of your kids and one cheap present.

Baby Showers/Sprinkles

Countless times, people ask for things that they themselves wouldn’t do for others. This is bad behavior. If someone you know recently had a baby, and you gifted their baby nothing, you should not feel comfortable asking for a gift from them. Whether they had a baby shower or not, they are still birthing a baby. Why have your hand out to receive, when you gifted nothing? Not okay.

Wedding/Marriage

You get married and have a grandiose wedding, with your guests spending thousands to participate and celebrate you. Soon after, one of your guests gets married in a courthouse ceremony and maybe doesn’t invite you at all. Guess what? You still owe them a grandiose gift.

The moral of the story is: Treat people the way you want to be treated. And if people have treated you a certain way, return the favor unapologetically.

We often talk about showing people how to treat us in relationships, but that doesn’t just apply to romantic partners. Some people are users and some simply don’t know any better. Someone has to let the people know. I know it seems unfair to have to raise someone else’s grown children, but sometimes, you have to educate for the greater good. If for nothing else, just #doitfortheColeture. Finally, you have been enlightened. The Etiquette No One Taught You.