How do you encourage your toddler to use the potty?
Potty-training is not for the faint of heart, at least in my household. I can tell you now, I was not built for this. My son is the cutest little boy in the world. I find myself frequently looking over his baby pictures. It’s hard to believe three years have passed, since he completed our family. Now that he is 3, his personality is blooming. He is smart, and he is just soooo sweet! But how is it possible to be so sweet and so stubborn at the same time? Like, who raised you? (Don’t answer that). Introducing, Timothy II-the Potty User Refuser.
First, let me give you a little background on my son. He loves vehicles! Timmy talks a lot, but is quite bashful around others. He doesn’t like to take naps, but turn on a Marvel movie, and he will sit quietly to watch it, until he falls asleep. A honey bun AND a cup of milk is his “morning coffee,” and he refuses to begin his day without them.
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Tall for his age, most people thought he was 4 when he was 2. He knows lots of words, shapes, and colors. He shows an interest in numbers and can actually count a little. Flashes of stubbornness present themselves when you ask him to answer questions about any of those things. Ask him to show you a letter, and this guy has an eyeroll only God can teach, IF he chooses to acknowledge you were speaking to him in the first place.
Back to potty-training.
So, we really tried to get ahead of this. Like other proactive parents, we tried getting him acclimated to sitting on the potty early on. And the few times that he used it unknowingly, we celebrated him. We were so proud of ourselves. Really thought we were just on top of things. If only you could’ve witnessed our excitement! Oh, but little did we know what was in store for us.
Soon, he understood that it was “pee pee” or “poo poo” in the potty because we would show it to him. We continued to cheer him on when he used it. Like all little people who receive praise, he ate it up! We just knew these were signs that he would be using the potty on his own in the near future. Can you hear the sound of us tooting our own horns? We also read books and watch (present tense) the potty-training episodes of some of his favorite shows and characters. Guess who could care less?
Suddenly, every time we put him on the potty, he fought to get off– screaming and crying, arms flailing all over the place. As Timmy got a little older, we bought him underwear. Oh, and not just any old underwear, either. He has boxer briefs! He has vehicle underwear, Dinosaur underwear, he even has Spiderman underwear! I mean, no holds barred on choosing the most fashionable of boxers. None of it matters. Eventually, we stopped [attempting to] put him on the “big potty,” and started using his little potty. We tried making it as comfortable as possible.
The potty is in the living room, for goodness sake!
Next, came the bribes. You get your “bunny” (as he affectionately refers to honey buns), when you sit on the potty. Guys, he is steadfast in his lack of desire to use the potty. Timmy will sit on the potty, not use it, eat his “bunny,” and get up. Then, it could take an hour, but he will gladly pee and/or poo in his underwear. So long as he does not have to sit on the potty, he can take it. It’s downright astonishing (and disgusting)!
The other day, I put underwear on him. I asked him a million times if he needed to pee pee. He said no, each and every time. By the time I made him go sit on the potty, which wasn’t long after me asking, he had peed on one of my pillows in my bed. Whhhhyyyy? After throwing my pillow out, I began to “potty shame” him. I said that everyone in the house uses the potty, except him. And I started singing about him needing to use the potty. See below for results.
People often say that “boys are the hardest to potty-train,” but I wouldn’t know by comparing to my daughter… because she was no walk in the park. She was the type of kid who would have you sitting with her in the bathroom for an hour and a half, only to use it on the floor as soon as you take her off of it. This behavior was frequent, so we knew it was intentional. Timmy, on the other hand, doesn’t even try. He will wait as long as he can, until you give up on having him sit there and/or questioning him about it.
He will potty on the floor, on the stairs, on my favorite rug, in his bed—anywhere but the potty.
Though, he’s very aware of when he needs to use the potty, he will only use it when forced to sit on it. And he may tinkle a little and STILL pee on something else five minutes later. The crazy part is, he has the nerve to be embarrassed and sad after you ask him if he used it on himself. BUT. YOU. KNOW. EXACTLY. WHAT. YOU. ARE. DOING. Someone please make it make sense!
Am I alone in this fight? Are there any other parents that have children like this?!
Since Timmy is mostly with me, I have been running lead on potty-training, and I am at my wit’s end! I asked family and friends for help and tips. My parents even stepped in to help when the kids stayed with them during the last few school breaks (prior to the Rona). There was no change.
In the meantime, I began searching online for potty-training solutions for stubborn kids, but didn’t find much we hadn’t tried. I did come across this hilarious article called, “My 3-Year-Old is Potty-Training. He Almost Ended Me.” It was eerily familiar, except his kid may be a bit more of a prankster than mine. At any rate, I could totally relate to the author’s experience.
You will never guess what happened next!
Finally, a miracle happened! I don’t know if my son knew I was writing this article about him or not, but what I can tell you is this: On the afternoon of Monday, April 20, 2020, Timothy II, the Potty User Refuser actually USED THE POTTY! He still won’t go in and use it without me, and he will only “pee” in the potty, but he has used it every day since then. Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a new potty user in our home. I’d like to now introudce you to Timothy II, Potty User.
Any interesting potty-training moments or stories with the toddler in your life? Comment down below or shoot us a message about it.
