“A mother’s love is a more tangible version of God’s love for us.”
Me
Most major holidays are a time of reverence and reflection. They all seem to have a central theme: thoughtfulness. Mother’s Day, a day set aside to honor and show appreciation for the mother(s) in your life, is no different. Oftentimes, the intense concentration on gift-giving overshadows the day’s actual intent—simply to say “thank you.” The closer we approach the date, the more we see people rush ordering gifts, with some struggling to decide what to buy for their moms. Some people are unable to purchase any gifts at all. Although that can be a difficult feeling, we have to remember that it is a blessing to have a living mother to celebrate in the first place.
The simplest gesture for your mother on Mother’s Day will be big enough to warm ten thousand souls.
For many of us, Mother’s Day will look drastically different this year, compared to years passed. Still, there are some of us whose Mother’s Days have already forever changed. Many people find it very hard to celebrate a day where the woman they would honor is no longer physically present. Surviving Mother’s Day Motherless requires the support of loved ones.
When a child loses its mother, it is the hope that her love will see him/her through survival.
My mother was diagnosed with cancer in 2015, and it was devastating. As if that wasn’t enough, my father, too, was diagnosed with cancer a few months later. We had to face some realities we didn’t want to, including the unimaginable– considering life without my parents.
Is there really any way to prepare someone to survive being motherless?
It is not lost on me how much of a blessing it is to still have both my parents. Which makes me even more sympathetic to those unable to fully embrace Mother’s Day as they once could. Remind those who have lost to reflect on all the love and lessons their moms left behind. Continue to celebrate the memories.
Loved ones must really show up to support the grieving.
My father lost his mother when I was eight years old. I didn’t fully understand at the time, but I was watching my dad learn to live his life without his mother. He was different, never again to be the same man. My family stepped up in support of him and his loss. He always had a great relationship with my maternal grandmother, but their bond grew stronger.
Note: My paternal grandmother’s passing marked the first time I truly understood the feeling of loss. In fact, I wrote my very first poem, called “I’ll Fly Away,” shortly thereafter. Ever since then, I began to channel my feelings into my writing. And although my memories of my grandmother are fading, I am thankful for the little things I can remember, like her baking me my own little pound cakes and her homemade ice cream. But most importantly, I am eternally appreciative for the man she raised in my father.
Anyway, I try to keep in mind ways in which we can strengthen and enrich the lives of those around us, especially those of us experiencing grief. So although we get excited about celebrating our mothers, let’s remember to make an effort of compassion to those who have lost theirs. Here are some supportive gift options you may want to consider:
Give the gift of flowers
Flowers can be a great option to gift someone who has lost their mother. You could gift her favorite flowers to her child. Or, you can place flowers on the late mother’s grave. If you choose to order flowers, try supporting a local florist in your area. Many are delivering right now.
Find out her favorite meal or dessert
Cook one of her favorite dishes as a gift. (Or, if you’re anything like me, place an order). It could be a wonderful new memory created, by her loved ones being able to enjoy her favorite meal. It could also give the feeling of closeness to the departed mom on this Mother’s Day.
Write a sentiment
If you knew the mother personally, write something from the heart to be read aloud. If you did not know her, try writing out a quote and/or prayer for healing, peace, and sympathy. This is a gift that requires no money, only time, vulnerability, and love.
Collect memories through pictures
Create a photo collage to help lift the spirits of those she left behind. Reminiscing via old pictures and sharing those memories with others, even virtually, can be very uplifting.
Host a Mother’s Day Brunch
Organizing a Mother’s Day gathering, (keeping social distancing in mind or virtually), honors all the mothers in your life, both past and present. You can each speak on a memory of the deceased. Once everyone has spoken, release balloons, butterflies, or birds at a pre-selected location. This will ceremoniously commemorate her transition from this life into the next.
Plant a tree or garden in her honor
You can gift the grief-stricken with a plant or tree to be planted in their yard. Creating a physical designation would be the perfect way to have a nearby place to feel close to their mom and to communicate with her.
There is nothing we can do to take the pain away from the loss of a loved one, but we can try to ease it. The easiest way for the motherless to survive all major holidays, are directly derived from the support of family and friends. Remember these key ingredients on Mother’s Day and beyond: Vulnerability. Humility. Kindness. Thoughtfulness. You may one day find yourself on the other side of these gifting suggestions, praying for others to hold you at your weakest. If we do a better job of putting others first, the happiness we incite can be just as contagious as the Coronavirus. Let’s continue to uplift one another regularly. Happy Mother’s Day!