Preparing for the holidays this year… Seems weird. Simply put, it doesn’t seem like the holidays right now because it doesn’t feel like the holidays. But it’s December already! It’s as if time stood still, but at the same time, sped along quicker than usual. Or maybe it’s just me. So much has happened, but it still feels like the beginning of the year. I’m in such a conflicted mental space. Oh, the Christmas Chronicles of 2020.
Chronicles:
the name of two books of the Bible, recording the history of Israel and Judah until the return from Exile
a factual written account of important or historical events in the order of their occurrence.
a work of fiction or nonfiction that describes a particular series of events
Oxford Dictionaries
I, like so many others, was so optimistic about this year. I had so many plans–big plans– that I couldn’t wait for things to come to fruition. For the first time ever, I created my Vision Blist! In case you’re wondering, a Vision Blist is a Vision Board in list form. Yes. I made that up. Don’t judge me. I made the most of my time. Plus, I printed it in color and it’s posted in my room… so it worked for me. *insert eyeroll directed towards anyone laughing at me*
Enters Shock and Denial
And then the Coronavirus hit, leaving life as we know it forever-altered. How in 2020 does something like this happen– and on such a monstrous scale, no less– without anyone in leadership having any idea what to do and how we got to this place? It was as if March was the beginning of the end. Many have lost their lives and/or their livelihoods. And that hurts.
Personally, work dried up almost instantaneously. Who could have fathomed what was to come? My mom’s Godmother contracted the virus from a caretaker at her living facility. She passed away. Two of my mom’s cousins contracted COVID-19, and they, too, passed away. I went months without seeing my parents and grandmother. Never in my life, have I ever been away from them for that long, considering they are living. Still, life was happening. Overwhelming amounts of stress and sadness were amassing in the interim, and I know that I was not alone in those feelings.
Christmas Chronicle #1: The show must go on!
We were blessed that my husband never had to stop working, but the pressure on me felt insurmountable! I had my children all day with no breaks. In the beginning, I wasn’t even taking my children to the grocery store. I made them masks, but still, I was too afraid of them getting sick. I was virtually schooling my daughter, who was displaying the affects of pandemic life in other ways. She was having trouble sleeping nights, so she’s still up at 4am, frequently waking me for some reason or another. My son, on the other hand, is an early bird and is up for 6am daily, like clockwork. Once work started to pick back up, there was no downtime, no time for self-care, barely enough time to think…
At some point, I had to demand a minute–even if that meant some things were being left behind. It was the acceptance of where we were (are). It finally hit me that this was our new normal. Now, the task was figuring out how to make this new lifestyle manageable–even enjoyable?
Christmas Chronicle #2: Be grateful for everything!
Take it all in stride and look for the positive in things. That’s the message I began to convey to myself. Even in spite of the Coronavirus, the holidays can be a tough season for a lot of people. In fact, I lost a first cousin just days ago. And though the celebrations are meant to be well-intentioned, when families gather around and rejoice in love and memories of days of old, that’s also the time when you realize that those who used to be here are no longer present with us. The holidays can inadvertently serve as a painful reminder of those losses. It really is a time that we have to choose to be grateful and hold each other’s hand just a little longer.
Christmas Chronicle #3: Be kind to yourself.
Sometimes, we don’t have anyone else to depend on to lift us up when we feel we need it most. We have to pick ourselves up by the bootstraps, but be kind to yourself during this process. In those low moments, I try to channel that energy into something more positive. Whether that means dragging myself outside to play with the children, or taking the time to read a new book. It is my responsibility to make it happen.
If this year hasn’t taught me anything, it has taught me to pursue all of my passions with more fervor. I am demanding peace and happiness in my life. I am demanding all the things that my heart desires. And in so doing, I am demanding more intentional effort of myself.
Who’s going to tell me that I can’t have everything I want when I’m working hard to get it?
It is something that sounds so simple. The concept is simple. It’s the doing part that makes all the difference. And if that is an idea that I want my children to implement in their lives, then I must lead by example.
Christmas Chronicle #4: Be intentional.
Now, here it is December, and I’m scrabbling to make sure “Christmas” happens. I didn’t buy a single item for Black Friday. I don’t even know what the hottest toys on the list are. Actually, I saw a million social media posts in uproar about the PS5, and I was at a total loss. I didn’t even know they made another Play Station.lol That’s just how out of the loop I have been.
Shopping with my children in tow… stopping by the cookie company for my favorite overpriced M&M cookies, picking out decorations for the inside and outside of our home… those are things that we are missing. For my family, it’s not about the gifts– never really has been. It’s about the time spent together “searching” for presents. I do miss those things. Now it’s about baking those cookies at home, and being a little more creative and thoughtful with the gift giving. More importantly, the true “reason for the season” is still in tact, but maybe the capacity in which it resonates is just a little deeper.
The Christmas Chronicle of 2020: Create your own holiday spirit
What is “holiday spirit” anyway? I tend to think of cold weather (or the appearance of it, since we live in New Orleans). The smell of cinnamon and hot chocolate. The beauty of fall leaves preparing to change into winter sticks. Presents? Sure. But it’s more about the intention– the effort put forth for someone you love, simply to put a smile on their face. And then the coup de grace? Actually being present with them. Eating too much, laughing too much, catching up with some family you don’t get to see as often. Or traveling with your loved ones for a destination Christmas.
As with anything in life, things change. Adulthood requires figuring out a way to navigate these changes as gracefully as we can.
We upgraded the TV and surround system in our living room. We have the big box of popcorn from Costco and the hot chocolate is always on deck! Now, our movie nights are even better! And if you know us, you know we love to watch movies in our household.
In addition to our homebound fun, we are taking the extra time for introspection and really working to better ourselves. As a result, we are healing ourselves, while making it a point to really be present for others who deserve our time and attention. There is a message in all of this.
This year has been… a process for me. Granted, we can acknowledge the pandemic played a major role, but the Coronavirus merely exacerbated some of the challenges I was already facing. Above all, I can honestly say that this year hasn’t been all bad. I’m choosing to be grateful for it all! Grateful to have had some people in my life who are no longer here and to those who are here, loving and supporting me. I am thankful for all the experiences and lessons learned. Lastly, I am thankful for each and every one of you.
Y’all, we are surviving this pandemic!
Now, I have to put on my creativity hat and coordinate with Santa about these Christmas gifts.
What are some of the things you and your loved ones are doing to get “in the spirit” this holiday season? Are there any lessons learned in 2020 that you are taking with you into 2021? What are some of the things you’re leaving behind?
From my family to yours, we wish you a very Merry Christmas and an abundance of blessings and prosperity in the New Year!
Photoseries captured and styled by The Coleture Visual Art Studio in New Orleans, LA.
Don’t be afraid to reach out to someone if you’re in need of a little extra support. And remember, be kind to yourself. Be encouraged.
National Suicide Prevention Hotline-1-800-273-8255
Crisis Text Line-Text HOME to 741-741
New Orleans-504-777-3273
Atlanta-1-800-715-4225
I love reading your articles. It is very inspirational. Everyone need to know how a person feel through this pandemic we’re going through. Love those pictures of Jillian and Tim, so beautiful.